Deb's Newsletter
Make a Difference |
October 24th, 2007 |
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EMPOWER YOURSELF Make a Difference Are you aware of the huge impact that you have on other people’s lives? Do you know what you say and do to others affects their self-worth and self-confidence? In a perfect world we would all obey the Golden Rule, “do unto others as you would have done unto you.” This ethic of reciprocity is a fundamental moral principle which simply means, “treat others as you would like to be treated.” It is arguably the most essential basis for the modern concept of human rights. What a better world we would share if we all just followed this one simple rule! Unfortunately, this is not reality. Reality is that we are mainly concerned about ourselves. Oh, we try to “make time” for others or other things, but we are just too busy, too tired or in a hurry. Most days it feels like there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done that we have to. We want to be a better wife / mother / sister / friend, but don’t always make the time to or even know what that means. Everything that you want to accomplish requires developing relationships – with friends, family, neighbors, staff, coaches, bosses, clients, partners, students, teachers, mentors. As we all know, achieving a happy and mutually beneficial relationship of any kind requires a certain amount of effort, commitment and responsibility. As is usually true, you get back what you are willing to put in. That is why, in a perfect world, there should be no blaming, justifying or defending. In a successful relationship there is great communication, questions are asked to get clarification, agreements are made that will be kept and all solutions are freely discussed when something is not working. Now, time to put your thinking cap on. 1. Name the 5 wealthiest people in the world. 2. Name the last 5 winners of the Academy Award for best actor and actress. 3. Name 5 people who have won the Nobel Peace Prize. If you can’t come up with the answers, you are not alone, as nobody remembers the headlines of yesterday. However, if I asked you to remember the 5 teachers or mentors who believed in you, the 5 friends who have helped you through a difficult time or 5 people who have made you feel special and appreciated – that’s a lot easier isn’t it? The people who make the biggest difference in our life are not the ones with the most credentials, most money or most awards. They are the ones who have showed you they care. If you want to be remembered for being someone important and for having an impact on someone’s life, start by simply making them feel appreciated. One way to accomplish this is to actively listen to them. Unless you have a life coach, we rarely get the opportunity to just talk about ourselves: our goals, our dreams, our thoughts, our frustrations, our joys, our fears, our accomplishments. Think of how important you would feel if one of your friends / family took the time to ask you questions like: 1. What makes you happy / sad? 2. What opportunities would you like to focus on? 3. What is holding you back? Just the fact that someone cares enough to ask such questions is a wonderful gift! So, why not start making an impact and “being” that friend / daughter / mother / sister / co-worker, and show that you care enough about them to ask these questions and then to really listen to their answers. You will feel good knowing that you have made a difference in their life, and they will remember you and be grateful for the gift you gave them – yourself! This month… Start thinking about or journaling the following: 1. All the things that you feel are important in having a positive and successful relationship. 2. Make a list of all the people that you have relationships with. Look back at your first list and see which relationships are working are which are not, and why. Empower Yourself – Try This: Choose one of the above relationships that at the moment, is not very positive and successful. Decide what you can do to make the relationship better. Perhaps a heart–to- heart talk with that person is in order to discuss the rules and the commitments of the relationship, and what things are and are not working for you. Remember, this is about YOU making things work – not about you blaming the other person for the challenges in the relationship. If you would like to know more about coaching or have a question or comment, I would be happy to hear from you at 257-4240 or through my web site, www.lifecoachingbydeb.com. Until next month, warm blessings to all, Deb Fortier |
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Past Newsletters:
November 5th, 2008 - Own Worst Enemy
October 7th, 2008 - The "P" Word
August 14th, 2008 - Forgiveness
July 10th, 2008 - Who Are You?
May 29th, 2008 - Want More?
More Past Newsletters