Deb's Newsletter
Never Say Never |
August 31st, 2010 |
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EMPOWER YOURSELF “NEVER SAY NEVER” “Whatever it is that you want, truly lies only a thought away.” Mike Dooley Day 7, I whisper to Sandy, “Anytime you are ready to go, just say the word.” Quickly, I leave the room and go outside. The grounds were beautiful and lakefront. The weather – spectacular! I sat down on a bench looking out onto the lake. Sandy soon followed and took a seat next to me. With eyes looking towards the ground, barely audibly she said, “Oh my gosh. I’m so happy to hear you say that. I thought that I was the only one going crazy here.” I smiled. Now, there was hope. On that bench outside, we continued our “secret” conversation – only hearing half of the words spoken as we were trying to be so quiet. We didn’t want to get into trouble. The dilemma – should we stay and honour our commitment or should we get out of there, as we both felt that we were “done”. The more we “talked”, the more I got excited. I suggested making up a story for having to leave to go home; Sandy preferred honesty. She is older and wiser, so she won that one. There was suddenly shared anticipation – we could actually be making the 9 hour drive back to Winnipeg within the hour! Exciting! One problem – the two of us car pooled with another lady from Winnipeg, so we couldn’t exactly leave her there. Okay, no problem, as I was sure that she would also want to leave “hell”. I had to somehow find her in the dormitory and without getting caught, tell her what we wanted to do. Ahhh, fate – she was alone in the washroom. I asked her if she would like to go home. She said that she didn’t think that she had a choice. With wide eyes and a twinkle in my happy heart, almost smugly, I offered the choice. She looked at me and said, “No, I don’t want to leave. I’m not finished yet.” WHAT? Not finished yet? How could that be? I was stunned, but respected her wish to stay. I felt like I was kicked hard in the stomach. I felt deflated; let down. I dragged myself back outside to sit beside Sandy to share the disastrous news, “She said no, she did not want to leave”. That was that. There was nothing more to be said. We all came together so we would all leave together. Sandy and I sat there for a few minutes then said, “There is nothing left to discuss”. Yes, my friends; I subjected myself to another 10-day silent meditation retreat. After I did my first one last August, I said “Never again”. This time, I even drove 10 hours to get there as it was held just outside of Minneapolis. Never say never. I was having a nap on the couch one day and the phone rang. It was Sandy. Sandy who? She reminded me that she had a tent beside mine at the meditation retreat last year. Oh, that Sandy. We exchanged pleasantries, and then boldly I asked her why she was phoning me. She said that she had been meaning to for awhile, just to say hi. I asked her if she had kept up with the mediation, and she said that she had and that she was going to another one the following week. Politely, I asked where it was being held and asked her to send me the link to the retreat so I could check it out – really just being polite. Suddenly, I was on the phone to the registrar of the retreat. I was told that it was completely booked and there was a wait list of 12 women. I asked to be put on the wait list, as I could attend last minute (as I work with such great clients that would understand). Three days before the retreat, I received an email saying that there was a cancellation and that no one else on the waitlist could attend on such short notice and that I could have the spot. Quickly, before I changed my mind, I said yes. I immediately called Sandy to car pool with, and it was done. I was going to another silent meditation retreat. I didn’t know why, as I really did not like the first one. I could find no rational reason why I would put my business (and my life) on hold for 2 weeks while I went to participate in this archaic practice which I was not too fond of, and never did at home. What the?????? My darling husband was supportive (did he have a choice?), but he did tell me that this time, I lose the right to complain forever, as I knew what I was getting into. Fair enough. The first time I went, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I knew it would be life changing. My expectations were high. Because of this, I left the retreat feeling let down and frustrated, as I felt it did nothing for me. This time, I just trusted. Trusted myself to lower my expectations, but something even bigger than this. I LISTENED to what the Universe was telling me. Usually, I am so busy “doing”, that I do not take time to just listen – to myself, to the Universe, to a higher power. This time, I did, and it was one of the best decisions of my life. I had to trust and to believe that Sandy phoned me out of the blue. I had to trust that the space came open at the retreat for a reason. And, I had to trust that a higher power had a hand in the outcome. I say this because as fate would have it, Sandy and I did end up driving back to Winnipeg alone a day before the retreat ended. That 9 hour drive turned out to be the reason that I went to the retreat. Since Sandy and I barely knew each other, we spent the first 4 hours of the drive with Sandy telling me all about her life. Exciting! Exhilarating! Awesome lady, awesome story. I was captivated. Then, it was my turn. Well, I’m not so good at talking about myself as some of you know, so I tried to tell my life story in 10 minutes. I guess that Sandy was in to me as she called me out and asked me to slow down and share more, as she was really interested. Who would possibly be interested in my life story – boring! I was wrong. Sandy was an awesome listener, who was able to extract all kinds of information from me. She asked question after question after question, until finally, I started to get clarity on a lot of things. Suddenly, some of my life-long behaviours and relationships made sense. Suddenly, I started to see the real me. It wasn’t pretty. I was able to share more information with Sandy than I had with anyone in my life because a.) She was such a great listener. b.) I was driving, it was dark and I didn’t have to look at her. No eye contact, no judgement. Wow! I found out that if I ever need to have a candid heart to heart with anyone, I need to be driving a car in the dark. It’s just what I was comfortable with. Sandy, who was almost a total stranger, changed my life for the better. She listened without judgement. She asked a ton of questions to help me to really see things from a different perspective. She cared, yet didn’t have any attachment to me. As for me, I was more honest with myself than I had ever been before in my life. I shared without the fear of being abandoned and for once, didn’t care if Sandy thought less of me because of who I “really” was. We drove through the night, yet I never felt as exhilarated as I did that night. Sandy is a terrific lady, and I love her for what she did for me that night and will NEVER forget the impact she has had on my life. I don’t know if we will hang out on a regular basis now that we are home, but I’m okay with that, as she came into my life for a reason, and I paid attention. For once, I paid attention to my intuition instead of focusing on the barriers. I will forever be grateful to my friend, Sandy. I share all of this in hope that you may see a bit of yourself in my story. Why? Because I wish that you too will let down your guard and pay attention to things the Universe is sending your way, and not to be scared to show the people in your life who you really are. We all have “stories” or even “secrets”, but so what? Those make us part of who we are. But if someone does not love or appreciate us for who we really are, then do you really want them in your life? Do you want people that you share your time with not to be authentic? If someone runs away from you if you show them who you really are, perhaps they were never meant to be in your life. Think about it! We waste so much time trying to impress others when in reality, there is only one person that we really have to impress – yourself! Several other awesome things came to me during the meditation retreat, including a couple of off-the wall but exciting business ideas (more later), as well as several tasks that I wanted to take on in order to clear up many loose ends. I also came away with the awareness of how important it is to forgive oneself and to only focus on the present, as the past is the past and no one’s future is guaranteed. Sandy changed my life – thank you Sandy. Having received this gift makes me want to share my experiences and offer support to others who also want to experience fulfillment in their life through coaching. I invite you to do just that. This Month – Try This... 1. Try to pay close attention to that little voice in your head. What is it telling you? 2. Open yourself up to discover new experiences, even though you may not want to. 3. Slowly, start getting real with yourself. If you don’t you are cheating no one but yourself. Life Coaching Workshop Are you: • Stumbling along, feeling fairly happy but not really sure what is next? • Determined to be successful but not exactly sure what that means? • Procrastinating in developing specific and attainable goals for the next year? If this is you, this full day workshop is for you! You will: • Get clarity on what you want to focus on. • Define what success means to you. • Create a detailed plan of your goals, including time frames AND have an accountability check in with Deb in 1 month to monitor your progress. And, that’s just the morning session! In the afternoon, you will create your own vision board and take it home to proudly display your goals. If you can see it, you can achieve it! Vision boards are a simple but powerful way to make your dreams come true and a beautiful visual representation of your life goals. All supplies will be provided to create your vision board, including an “Everyday Display” board from Creative Memories. (Cost of frame is $83.00) Workshop Location: The Forks Market Boardroom Saturday, October 16, 2010 9AM – 4PM We will take a 75 minute lunch break to enjoy all The Forks Market has to offer. Investment – Early Bird Price of $199.00 (booked and paid for by Sept. 17) After Sept. 17, $219.00 To reserve your spot email Deb Raven at LifeIsWhatYouMakeIt@mts.net or call 257-4240. Seating is limited so please book early. And, here is something VERY cool you can help out with this week! A friend of mine Lee Raito has written a song that is competing in a CBC Radio3 & David Suzuki contest called Playlist for The Planet; which is an environmental album to be released by Universal Music this November to help raise money for the David Suzuki foundation & environmental initiatives. After 757 songs & round one of voting last week, his song has made the top 5 in Manitoba! Congratulations Lee! Round 2 of voting opens this Wednesday, September 1st @1pm & after one more week of daily voting the top song in each province wins & gets on this prestigious album; alongside famous Canadian Artists like Randy Bachman, Sarah McLachlann, K-os, Bruce Cockburn & many more... Here is how you can help my friend make his dreams come true & help our planet at the same time! It’s as easy as 123... 1. Please go here and register as a free user of CBC Radio 3: http://radio3.cbc.ca/membersignup 2. Then click the button near the bottom of his page called ‘Become a Fan’: http://radio3.cbc.ca/play/band/Raito/One-and-The-Same 3. Once per day for the next 7 days please vote for his song here: http://radio3.cbc.ca/planet/Vote.aspx (You should find his song under the Manitoba category... you can’t miss it and & again it’s called ‘One & The Same’ Please help to support a local artist and good guy, and vote every day. Lee and I thank you in advance. Warm regards, Deb Raven – Certified Life Coach Life Is What You Make It |
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Past Newsletters:
May 5th, 2010 - I Can't
April 8th, 2010 - Let It Go
March 12th, 2010 - Life Is Good
February 8th, 2010 - Don't Miss Out on This One!
January 13th, 2010 - Slow Down!
More Past Newsletters